{"id":294303,"date":"2023-03-31T16:37:26","date_gmt":"2023-03-31T20:37:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/?page_id=294303"},"modified":"2026-01-11T00:18:29","modified_gmt":"2026-01-11T05:18:29","slug":"fires","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/fires\/","title":{"rendered":"Consent, the right FIRES"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<!-- <div class=\"atterrissage-header\">\n<div class=\"atterrissage-header-flex\">\n<div class=\"atterrissage-header-divOne\"><a href=\"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/calia-consent\/\"><\/a><\/div>\n<div class=\"atterrissage-header-divTwo\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>-->\n<div class=\"grid-container\">\n<div class=\"grid-item anti-colfull\" style=\"background:#fff;padding:0 3% 30vh;\">\n<h1 class=\"acronym-carte-title-gr\">CONSENT<\/h1>\n<h2 class=\"acronym-carte-slogan-gr\">&#8230;making sure you light the right FIRES!<\/h2>\n<h5 class=\"center\" style=\"color:#6d6d6d;\">Otherwise, it isn&#8217;t fun for anyone!<\/h5>\n<img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"290550\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/?attachment_id=290550\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/FIRES_website_2250.png?fit=2250%2C2250&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"2250,2250\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"FIRES_website_2250\" data-image-description=\"&lt;p&gt;Consent &amp;#8230;make sure you light the right FIRES otherwise, put it out!&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Consent &amp;#8230;make sure you light the right FIRES otherwise, put it out!&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/FIRES_website_2250.png?fit=980%2C980&amp;ssl=1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/FIRESnew_website_2250.png?w=980&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Consent is lighting the right FIRES (Freely given, Informed, Reversible, Enthusiastic, Specific) otherwise, forget it\"   class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-290550\" style=\"width:225px; height:auto;margin-top:6%;margin-bottom:6%;border:2px solid #0f4a00;border-radius:15px;padding:1px;\">\n<div class=\"tdm-section\">\n<p class=\"tdm-titre dark-gr\"><strong>Sections<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"tdm dark-gr\"><span class=\"tdm-lien\"><a href=\"#consentement\">Consent, what&#8217;s that?<\/a><\/span><br>\nDefinition of consent and the situations in which you need it<\/p>\n<p class=\"tdm dark-gr\"><span class=\"tdm-lien\"><a href=\"#oui\">Why talking about the right FIRES?<\/a><\/span><br>\nThe issue with previous campaigns<\/p>\n<p class=\"tdm dark-gr\"><span class=\"tdm-lien\"><a href=\"#acronyme\">The acronym FIRES, what is it?<\/a><\/span><br>\nThe origin of the acronym FIRES<\/p>\n<p class=\"tdm dark-gr\"><span class=\"tdm-lien\"><a href=\"#comment\">Consent, lighting the right FIRES, how does that work?<\/a><\/span><br>\nHow to use the acronym FIRES to get valid consent<\/p>\n<p class=\"tdm dark-gr\"><span class=\"tdm-lien\"><a href=\"#reels\">CONSENT &#8230;making sure you light the right FIRES!<\/a><\/span><br>\nThe acronym FIRES as such and the explanation of each criteria<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p style=\"text-align:center; margin:2em auto 0;\"><a class=\"anewbutton\" href=\"#reels\"><button class=\"newbutton btfires\">See the FIRES criteria<br><span class=\"typcn typcn-chevron-right-outline rotation90 downarrow\"><\/span><\/button><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid-item anti-colfull\" style=\"background:#177100;padding:8% 3% 30vh;\">\n<span class=\"anchor\" id=\"consentement\"><\/span>\n<div>\n<h2 style=\"color:rgba(250, 250, 250, .9);text-align:center;\">Consent, what&#8217;s that?<\/h2>\n<div style=\"display:flex;flex-flow: row wrap;justify-content: space-around;min-height:61.8vh;padding:3%;\">\n<div style=\"align-self:flex-start;flex: 1 0 200px;padding:3%;\">\n<h3 style=\"color:rgba(250, 250, 250, .9);\">Definition<\/h3>\n<p style=\"color:rgba(250, 250, 250, .9);\"><strong><em>Making sure that everyone involved is, at all times, perfectly comfortable with what is happening.<\/em><\/strong><br>Consent is therefore the key to a comfortable interaction for everyone!&nbsp;\ud83d\ude0d<\/p><\/div>\n<div style=\"align-self:flex-end;flex: 1 0 200px;padding:3%;\">\n<h3 style=\"color:rgba(250, 250, 250, .9);\">Situation<\/h3>\n<p style=\"color:rgba(250, 250, 250, .9);\">Valid consent is needed in <strong><em>any situation involving more than one person and where there could be any physical or psychological discomfort<\/em><\/strong> (discomfort, embarrassment, fear, anger, anxiety, etc.); Whether it&#8217;s a hug, sex, physical contact, the topic of conversation, information sharing or even a simple presence!<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<p style=\"text-align:center; margin:2em auto;\"><a class=\"anewbutton\" href=\"#reels\"><button class=\"newbutton btfires\">See the FIRES criteria<br><span class=\"typcn typcn-chevron-right-outline rotation90 downarrow\"><\/span><\/button><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid-item anti-colfull\" style=\"background-color: #fff;padding:8% 3% 30vh;\">\n<span class=\"anchor\" id=\"oui\"><\/span>\n<h3 class=\"dark-gr\" style=\"text-align:center; margin-top: 96px;\">Why talking about the right FIRES?<\/h3>\n<p class=\"dark-gr\" style=\"margin:0 calc(15vw - 2em);text-align:center;\">Previous campaigns &#8220;No, means NO&#8221; and &#8220;Without a YES, it&#8217;s NO&#8221; made people realize that a NO and even the absence of a YES must be taken seriously and should result in the immediate cessation of the interaction. Unfortunately, these campaigns take for granted that if the person says YES then they are officially and completely consenting, but<br><strong>&#8220;Even a YES can be a NO&#8221;<\/strong>.<br>Indeed, many people say YES when they would have preferred to say NO. Others, because they said YES at the beginning, keep saying YES even when they don&#8217;t want to continue. Therefore, it takes more than a YES to consider a person consenting; it takes a real YES, with the right kind of FIRES!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center; margin:2em auto;\"><a class=\"anewbutton\" href=\"#reels\"><button class=\"newbutton btfires\">See the FIRES criteria<br><span class=\"typcn typcn-chevron-right-outline rotation90 downarrow\"><\/span><\/button><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid-item anti-colfull\" style=\"background:#177100;padding:8% 15% 30vh;\"\">\n<span class=\"anchor\" id=\"acronyme\"><\/span>\n<div class=\"fcc\" style=\"min-height:38.2vh;\">\n<div>\n<h2 style=\"color:rgba(250, 250, 250, .9);text-align:center;\">The acronym FIRES, what is it?<\/h2>\n<p style=\"color:rgba(250, 250, 250, .9);text-align:center;margin:0;\">&#8220;FIRES&#8221; is an acronym that I borrowed and modified from the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.plannedparenthood.org\/learn\/relationships\/sexual-consent\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"color: inherit; text-decoration: underline;\">Planned Parenthood Federation of America<\/a>&#8216;s &#8220;Consent is easy as FRIES&#8221;. (Although, I still created the french version myself: <a href=\"https:\/\/caliact.com\/consentement-oui-reels\/\" style=\"color: inherit; text-decoration: underline;\">R\u00c9ELS<\/a>!) The acronym encompasses the 5 criteria for valid consent. The order in which the criteria are presented is not important (except to form a word that makes sense!). The idea is to help <strong>making sure that each interaction meets the 5 FIRES criteria!&nbsp;\ud83d\udc4d<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p style=\"text-align:center; margin:2em auto;\"><a class=\"anewbutton\" href=\"#reels\"><button class=\"newbutton btfires\">See the FIRES criteria<br><span class=\"typcn typcn-chevron-right-outline rotation90 downarrow\"><\/span><\/button><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 96px; color:rgba(250, 250, 250, .9);\">Hey, plus the acronym FIRES works in <strong>every way<\/strong>!&nbsp;\ud83d\ude2e<br><\/p><h6 class=\"center\" style=\"color:rgba(250, 250, 250, .9);\">Check this next section!<\/h6><p><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid-item anti-colfull\" style=\"background-color:#fff; padding: 8% 3% 30vh;\">\n<span class=\"anchor\" id=\"comment\"><\/span>\n<div class=\"long\" style=\"margin-bottom:0;\">\n<h2 class=\"dark-gr\" style=\"text-align: center;\">Consent, lighting the right FIRES, how does that work?<\/h2>\n<hr class=\"hr-gr\">\n<p class=\"dark-gr\" style=\"text-align: center;\">The acronym FIRES can be used BEFORE or AFTER SAYING or HEARING a YES<\/p>\n<div class=\"frwsas\">\n<div class=\"rowc50-reels-comment-gr\">\n<h3 class=\"dark-gr\" style=\"text-align:center;margin: 0 0 0.5407911001em;\">If someone asks you a question<\/h3>\n<ul class=\"list18 listchevron dark-gr\">\n    <li><strong>BEFORE<\/strong> saying YES to someone or something, make sure all the criteria are met<\/li>\n    <li><strong>AFTER<\/strong> having said YES to someone or to something, if you feel any discomfort (physical or psychological), check whether all the criteria have been met or if they are still met. This reflection exercise can help you better identify ailments, improve your communication and even your future interactions.<\/li>\n<\/ul><\/div>\n<div class=\"rowc50-reels-comment-gr\">\n<h3 class=\"dark-gr\" style=\"text-align:center;margin: 0 0 0.5407911001em;\">If you ask someone a question<\/h3>\n<ul class=\"list18 listchevron dark-gr\">\n    <li><strong>BEFORE<\/strong> someone tells you YES, make sure your question and your attitude meet all the criteria in order to maximize the chances that the YES you get (if it&#8217;s a YES) is the most valid possible.<\/li>\n    <li><strong>AFTER<\/strong> someone tells you YES, make sure that all the criteria are continuously met in order to maximize your chances that the YES obtained will remain as valid as possible.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p style=\"text-align:center; margin:2em auto 10em;\"><a class=\"anewbutton\" href=\"#reels\"><button class=\"newbutton btfires\">See the FIRES criteria<br><span class=\"typcn typcn-chevron-right-outline rotation90 downarrow\"><\/span><\/button><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"grid-item anti-colfull\" style=\"background:#fff;padding:0 3% 10vh;\">\n<span class=\"anchor\" id=\"reels\"><\/span>\n<h2 class=\"acronym-carte-title-gr\">CONSENT<\/h2>\n<h3 class=\"acronym-carte-slogan-gr\">&#8230;making sure you light the right FIRES!<\/h3>\n<h5 class=\"center\" style=\"color:#6d6d6d;\">Otherwise, it isn&#8217;t fun for anyone!<\/h5>\n<h6 class=\"center dark-gr\">Click on each of the criteria for more explanations.<\/h6>\n\n<div class=\"acronym-total divnop\" style=\"margin-bottom:31.8vh;\">\n<!--FREELY GIVEN-->\n<div class=\"acronym\"><label for=\"critere-one\"><input type=\"checkbox\" title=\"critere-one\" name=\"acronym\" id=\"critere-one\"><h2 class=\"critere-gr\"><i class=\"typcn typcn-chevron-right-outline critere-i\"><\/i> <span class=\"critere-lettre-gr\">F<\/span>reely given<\/h2><p class=\"acronym-carte goodp\">Without intoxication, pressure, manipulation&#8230;<br>\n<i class=\"typcn typcn-arrow-sorted-up rotation90\" style=\"font-size:.9em;\"><\/i> Would a NO be accepted AND respected?<\/p>\n<div class=\"acronym-panel-gr\">\n<h3 class=\"acronym-panel-h3-first\">The concept<\/h3>\n<p class=\"goodp\">The YES is as valid as the NO is easy. So if you want to validate the yes, check the no! In this situation, is it easy to say NO?<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"goodp\"><strong>Does the person&#8217;s condition prevent them from being able to say no?<\/strong><br>When a person is too young, too old, has a mental disability, has drunk too much, has taken drugs, is sleeping or has passed out; they are not in a position to make a decision and choose between answering yes or no. They might not even be able to answer at all! In these cases, since it&#8217;s not easy to say no, even if the person says yes, their yes is not valid!<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"goodp\"><strong>Does the situation prevent the person from saying no?<\/strong><br>In other words, if their answer is NO, will there be consequences such that they cannot really say NO? Is the person threatened, manipulated, under social pressure, in a position of inferiority, etc.? Because if so, the situation or the relationship makes the person unable to say no. So even if they say yes, their yes is not valid! Phrases like \u201cyou don&#8217;t have a choice anyway\u201d or \u201cyou better say yes\u201d are typical examples of nonfree consent.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"acronym-panel-h3\">The difficulties<\/h3>\n<p class=\"goodp\">There are the obvious cases like the ones I mentioned above, but there are also the more subtle cases which can be just as problematic.<br> \n<\/p><ul class=\"list18 list18disc dark-gr\"><li>The very attitude of the person asking the question can influence the other.\n<ul class=\"list18 list18-inside dark-gr\"><li>When you make little puppy eyes to convince the other to say yes.<\/li> \n<li>When you insist and ask the same question more than once, hoping that the answer becomes positive. A lot of times the person gets bored and ends up saying yes, but that yes is not valid!<\/li><\/ul><\/li> \n<li>Past attitudes can also influence the response. If, the last time the other person said no, we reacted negatively (with anger, sadness, revenge, etc.), the person is indeed likely to say yes, but only in order to avoid a negative reaction. In this case too, their yes is not valid!<\/li> \n<li>The most obvious difficulty is when you do something before you even ask the question! We all agree that if the person doesn&#8217;t even have time to say no, that doesn&#8217;t really make their NO easier, does it?!<\/li><\/ul><p><\/p>\n\n<h3 class=\"acronym-panel-h3\">Alie&#8217;s tips<\/h3>\n<ul class=\"list18 list18disc dark-gr\"><li>First of all, make sure the person is within their right mind; that they have all their mental capacities.<\/li>\n<li>Then be aware of the type of relationship between people and the context. Are any of the persons in a position of authority or have a history of manipulation? Is there social pressure or derogatory consequences at play? If so, let&#8217;s forget about it! We do not even ask the question, because the consent cannot be valid anyway.<\/li>\n<li>When we ask the question: \n<ul class=\"list18 list18-inside dark-gr\"><li>Make sure to keep an attitude and a language that is neutral enough and without pressure so as not to influence the response.<\/li>\n<li>Make sure to give the other person enough time to think about their answer.<\/li><\/ul><\/li>\n<li>Finally, if we see that the person is hesitating, we offer them an easy way out: \n<ul class=\"list18 list18-inside dark-gr\"><li>To show them that we will easily accept a NO: &#8220;If you don&#8217;t feel like it, you can say no, there won&#8217;t be any hard feelings.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>By giving them a ready-made excuse: &#8220;Obviously, if you don&#8217;t have time, I understand that.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>By emphasizing that there is room for discussion: \u201cOr, you know, we can wait or do something else if you prefer. I want you to want to do it, otherwise, we&#8217;ll let it go, it&#8217;s better that way.&#8221;<\/li><\/ul><\/li>\n<li>And for the next time: if the person answers NO, we accept and respect their refusal, then we smile and thank them for their honesty and for respecting themselves. <div style=\"display:none;\">(Voir la section \u201cPourquoi on devrait aimer se faire dire NON?\u201d)<\/div><\/li><\/ul>\n\n<h4 class=\"citation-oui-gr\">&#8220;A YES is only a YES if a NO is possible!&#8221;<\/h4>\n<\/div><\/label><\/div>\n\n<!--INFORMED-->\n<div class=\"acronym\"><label for=\"critere-two\"><input type=\"checkbox\" title=\"critere-two\" name=\"acronym\" id=\"critere-two\"><h2 class=\"critere-gr\"><i class=\"typcn typcn-chevron-right-outline critere-i\"><\/i> <span class=\"critere-lettre-gr\">I<\/span>nformed<\/h2><p class=\"acronym-carte goodp\">Action, person, place, time, intention\u2026<br>\n<i class=\"typcn typcn-arrow-sorted-up rotation90\" style=\"font-size:.9em;\"><\/i> Make sure everyone is on the same page!<\/p>\n<div class=\"acronym-panel-gr\">\n<h3 class=\"acronym-panel-h3-first\">The concept<\/h3>\n<p class=\"goodp\">You know, when you are told not to say yes to anything or not to sign a contract before reading it? Well, that&#8217;s the idea with informed consent. Before saying or accepting a YES, make sure the details are clear. Who are the people involved (will anyone else join us)? What is the activity (and especially what does it involve exactly; what will my role be; how are we going to do that)? Where and when will it take place (just once, here and now or in 2 months, in the south and for the rest of your life)? Finally (and not least) WHY? What is the intention behind the proposal; is it purely friendly, totally romantic, pure business or \u201cjust physical\u201d?<\/p>\n\n<h3 class=\"acronym-panel-h3\">The difficulties<\/h3>\n<p class=\"goodp\">We often take for granted that everything is clear, that &#8220;it&#8217;s obvious!&#8221;. But the same word can mean different things to another and this is where misunderstandings arise.<\/p>\n<p class=\"goodp\">Not only do we assume that the other understood what we wanted to say, but we also expect to get what we think was agreed to, and this is how a situation can easily end in surprise, disappointment, or frustration. \u201cOnly expectations can lead to disappointment, which is why they put so much pressure.\u201d<\/p>\n\n<h3 class=\"acronym-panel-h3\">Alie&#8217;s tips<\/h3>\n<ul class=\"list18 list18disc dark-gr\"><li><strong>Ask questions:<\/strong> &#8220;What kind of vibe are you looking for exactly?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li><strong>Specify the details yourself:<\/strong> &#8220;Alright, but let&#8217;s keep it friendly, okay?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li><strong>Be aware that there are missing informations:<\/strong> \n<ul class=\"list18 list18-inside dark-gr\"><li>If you don&#8217;t want to ask any questions or add any details, then at least realize that details are missing and that your expectations need to be adjusted accordingly! In other words, saying yes to a vague question is like saying yes to a blind date; accept that you don&#8217;t know what you&#8217;re getting into!<\/li>\n<li>If you&#8217;re the one who asked a vague question and the other answered yes anyway; keep in mind that the other person does not really know what has been agreed and that surprises, but also disappointments and frustrations, may arise.<\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul>\n\n<h4 class=\"citation-oui-gr\">&#8220;A YES is only a YES if you know all that it involves!&#8221;<\/h4><\/div><\/label><\/div>\n\n<!--REVERSIBLE-->\n<div class=\"acronym\"><label for=\"critere-three\"><input type=\"checkbox\" title=\"critere-three\" name=\"acronym\" id=\"critere-three\"><h2 class=\"critere-gr\"><i class=\"typcn typcn-chevron-right-outline critere-i\"><\/i> <span class=\"critere-lettre-gr\">R<\/span>eversible<\/h2><p class=\"acronym-carte goodp\">People can always change their mind!<br>\n<i class=\"typcn typcn-arrow-sorted-up rotation90\" style=\"font-size:.9em;\"><\/i> What if someone wants to stop once it starts?<\/p>\n<div class=\"acronym-panel-gr\">\n<h3 class=\"acronym-panel-h3-first\">The concept<\/h3>\n<p class=\"goodp\">Mainly, you have to understand that nothing is &#8220;set in stone&#8221; and, yes, everybody has the right to change their mind. So a yes can turn into a no at any point during the interaction and for any reason. In fact, you don&#8217;t even need to have a reason to want to change your mind or quit. We stop and that&#8217;s it. Sometimes we just want to change a detail, sometimes we want to stop completely. The main idea is that as soon as there is discomfort, awkwardness or that something feels wrong, the YES becomes a NO. We must therefore listen to and respect each other enough to stop.<\/p>\n\n<h3 class=\"acronym-panel-h3\">The difficulties<\/h3>\n<p class=\"goodp\">A lot of the time, we think that just because we said yes we have to go all the way, otherwise \u201cit&#8217;s not cool for the other one\u201d. What we don&#8217;t realize is that it ends up being much more painful for us!<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"goodp\">Sometimes we get carried away by the passion, stop listening to our boundaries, and don&#8217;t realize that we no longer like what we said yes to. The situation is out of our control and it is going too far for us. Unfortunately, it is often just after, when the damage is already done, that we realize it.<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"goodp\">In some cases, the situation itself prevents us from saying &#8220;no more&#8221; and stopping what has already been started. Manipulation, threats, or simply the pressure of other people&#8217;s expectations can be heavy factors that prevent us from expressing ourselves and our boundaries.<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"goodp\">Sometimes it&#8217;s ourselves who keep ourselves from stopping the interaction when we need it. We lack self-esteem so much that we don&#8217;t think we have the right. Either we lack courage or we just don&#8217;t know how to express ourselves. Or, fear invades us so much that we freeze or dissociate ourselves from it.<\/p>\n\n<h3 class=\"acronym-panel-h3\">Alie&#8217;s tips<\/h3>\n<ul class=\"list18 list18disc dark-gr\"><li><strong>Mention it from the start:<\/strong> &#8220;Hey, by the way, if you or I ever want to quit, can we tell each other, please? I&#8217;d rather stop than having a fake one, okay?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li><strong>Stay on the lookout for discomfort:<\/strong> The first step is to be able to realize that you are starting to be uncomfortable. The second step, ideally, is to successfully identify the cause of the discomfort (is it the person, the activity, the context, etc.?). The third and most important step is to speak up! \u201cHey, can we stop, please?\u201d. We have to keep in mind that WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO STOP, even if we said yes at the beginning!<\/li>\n<li><strong>Have a code set in advance to facilitate communication:<\/strong> Yes, just like a safeword, it can be a word, a gesture, a facial expression in particular, that will indicate to the other that we must stop. Sometimes it&#8217;s hard to find the right words when you&#8217;ve made the decision to quit but don&#8217;t want to insult the other one or your brain is overwhelmed with pleasure hormones. If we just have a word or a sign, that has been discussed before consent was given, it is way easier.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Don&#8217;t have expectations:<\/strong> When we have expectations, we often unconsciously put pressure on the other. This pressure on the other may prevent them from admitting to us their discomfort or their desire to stop the interaction. Moreover, only expectations cause disappointments. The more one expects a certain outcome, the greater the disappointment will be if the other asks to quit before it is over. Now imagine how the other person will feel when they see your disappointment or frustration because they put their well-being before your pleasure. You will look heartless and they will feel bad.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n<h4 class=\"citation-oui-gr\">&#8220;A YES is only a YES as long as it is a YES!&#8221;<\/h4>\n<\/div><\/label><\/div>\n\n<!--ENTHUSIASTIC-->\n<div class=\"acronym\"><label for=\"critere-four\"><input type=\"checkbox\" title=\"critere-four\" name=\"acronym\" id=\"critere-four\"><h2 class=\"critere-gr\"><i class=\"typcn typcn-chevron-right-outline critere-i\"><\/i> <span class=\"critere-lettre-gr\">E<\/span>nthusiastic<\/h2><p class=\"acronym-carte goodp\">\u00ab Oh yes!! \u00bb or \u00ab I don&#8217;t know, but I wanna try! \u00bb<br>\n<i class=\"typcn typcn-arrow-sorted-up rotation90\" style=\"font-size:.9em;\"><\/i> Pay attention to feelings and body language.<\/p>\n<div class=\"acronym-panel-gr\">\n<h3 class=\"acronym-panel-h3-first\">The concept<\/h3>\n<p class=\"goodp\">Well, that we suspected! If you don&#8217;t really feel like doing something, you say no. (Just in case it wasn&#8217;t clear, we&#8217;re not talking about civic or health duties here like taking out the trash, washing your hands before entering a store, or paying for your groceries; you should always do theses, even if you don&#8217;t really want to!) When we talk about enthusiasm, we imagine that it takes the total; the leaps of joy, the stars in the eyes and the smile split from ear to ear\u2026 No need! It\u2019s more a matter of \u201cwanting\u201d. Do you want to do it? Do you feel like doing it? As we know, some people are much less expressive than others, so you can&#8217;t always demand an overreaction, but you should still feel the desire and enthusiasm in the response.<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"goodp\">Yes, there are times when you want to do something painful, where you will say yes even if you don&#8217;t really like it. BE CAREFUL not to confuse sacrifice and compromise! Compromise, unlike sacrifice, shouldn&#8217;t exceed your limits. \u201cIn a compromise, it&#8217;s not necessarily about having what you want, but you still have to want what you are going to have!\u201d In other words, what you say yes to may not be heaven, but it shouldn&#8217;t be hell either.<\/p>\n\n<h3 class=\"acronym-panel-h3\">The difficulties<\/h3>\n<p class=\"goodp\">Often we respond out of reflex or habit and end up saying yes when in reality we would have preferred to say no.<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"goodp\">Sometimes we let ourselves be swayed by the infectious enthusiasm of the other, and we say yes, but end up regretting it later.<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"goodp\">There are times when you hesitate so much that you end up answering anything instead of what you should have answered (see below for my tips on hesitation).<\/p>\n\n<h3 class=\"acronym-panel-h3\">Alie&#8217;s tips<\/h3>\n<p class=\"goodp\"><strong>Take the time to think about it!<\/strong> Take at least 5 seconds to ask yourself the question: &#8220;Do I want to do this?&#8221; Take the time to imagine what the situation would look like if you said yes. Would that be nice? (Of course, before you ask yourself the question, make sure you know what the question is! If you are missing any information, ask questions!)<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"goodp\">Usually, the \u201cOh My God Yes, please!\u201d and the \u201cOh F%*k, forget it!\u201d are quite easy to feel. It&#8217;s when you hesitate between yes and no that it becomes more difficult. So if, in asking yourself this question, you find yourself hesitating between yes and no, think about the type of hesitation you are facing.\n<\/p><ul class=\"list18 list18disc dark-gr\"><li><strong>Hesitation linked to the unknown:<\/strong> Try to imagine yourself doing the thing in question and see how you would feel or compare the characteristics of the activity with your values, your principles, your priorities, etc.\n<ul class=\"list18 list18-inside dark-gr\"><li>If you&#8217;ve never tried the thing in question, but the idea sounds interesting or has potential, then you can say \u201cYes, I would like to try\u201d. Subconsciously, it will also facilitate reversibility. It&#8217;s usually easier to stop right in the middle, after saying you&#8217;re just going to try something, rather than after saying you&#8217;re going to do it.<\/li>\n<li>On the other hand, if the idea doesn&#8217;t sound interesting, or doesn&#8217;t seem worth it, just let it go and simply say &#8220;No, thank you.&#8221;<\/li><\/ul><\/li>\n<li><strong>Hesitation linked to details:<\/strong> If you like the general idea, but there is one or a few details that feels wrong, suggest an alternative! With a little luck and open communication, you might find an interesting and exciting compromise for everyone!<\/li>\n<li><strong>Hesitation linked to pressure:<\/strong> If you don&#8217;t really feel like doing it, but you feel like you should because it&#8217;s a matter of politeness (\u201cIt&#8217;s not nice to refuse that!\u201d), of reputation (\u201cWhat will they think of me?!\u201d) or because the other manipulates you, threatens you, or is in a position of authority (\u201cI can&#8217;t imagine what would happen if I said no!\u201d), then please say NO! When you start trying to convince yourself to say yes, you should say no. And remember that fateful sentence: \u201cIf you can&#8217;t say no IN a situation, say no TO the situation!\u201d<\/li><\/ul><p><\/p>\n<p class=\"goodp\">Finally, we agree that the idea is not to say that if you don&#8217;t want to, you should automatically and all the time say no, regardless of the situation; sometimes it&#8217;s worth saying yes, even if we would have preferred to say no &#8230; But what is important to realize is that if you say yes without really wanting to, without it being an enthusiastic yes, don&#8217;t be surprised if it gets uncomfortable or if you end up with regrets afterward!<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"citation-oui-gr\">&#8220;A YES is only a YES if it feels like a YES!&#8221;<\/h4>\n<\/div><\/label><\/div>\n\n<!--SPECIFIC-->\n<div class=\"acronym\"><label for=\"critere-five\"><input type=\"checkbox\" title=\"critere-five\" name=\"acronym\" id=\"critere-five\"><h2 class=\"critere-gr\"><i class=\"typcn typcn-chevron-right-outline critere-i\"><\/i> <span class=\"critere-lettre-gr\">S<\/span>pecific<\/h2><p class=\"acronym-carte goodp\">Consent is only valid for the question asked!<br>\n<i class=\"typcn typcn-arrow-sorted-up rotation90\" style=\"font-size:.9em;\"><\/i> If anyone wants more, adjust the question!&nbsp;\ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n<div class=\"acronym-panel-gr\">\n<h3 class=\"acronym-panel-h3-first\">The concept<\/h3>\n<p class=\"goodp\">The idea here is that a YES for one part is not a YES for the whole thing. So if you ask to have A and the person says yes, you can have A, but if you also want B and C, you will have to ask another question about B and C. You stop at A and next time you could simply ask a question that includes A, B and C.<\/p>\n<p class=\"goodp\">This concept applies to all elements of the context:\n<\/p><ul class=\"list18 list18disc dark-gr\"><li>A YES for a step is not a YES for the entire process or activity.<\/li>\n<li>A YES for once is not a YES for all the time.<\/li>\n<li>A YES for one person is not a YES for everyone.<\/li>\n<li>A YES for one place is not a YES for everywhere.<\/li>\n<li>etc.<\/li><\/ul><p><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"acronym-panel-h3\">The difficulties<\/h3>\n<p class=\"goodp\">We either assume or forget! We assume that if the person says yes at the first step, the first time or to a person, we assume and expect that they will agree also for the rest of the activity, all the other times and all other people.<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"goodp\">We forget to ask the question again at each step, each time, each person, etc.<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"goodp\">Even once the context is specified (step, time, person, place, etc.), the most important element is often overlooked: intention. If one agrees to a friendly activity, the mood and attitudes should remain friendly. If one person has additional intentions and ends up wanting a change of mood or attitude, without verifying the other&#8217;s consent, then there is a good chance that the mood will become, at the very least, uncomfortable!<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"acronym-panel-h3\">Alie&#8217;s tips<\/h3>\n<ul class=\"list18 list18disc dark-gr\"><li>If the question seems too vague or implies too much, use the &#8220;Yes, but just &#8230;&#8221; to clarify that consent only applies to one thing in particular.<\/li> \n<li>And if ever, during the activity, you realize that the other wants to go further, don&#8217;t hesitate to remind them &#8220;Hey, we said: just &#8230;&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>If the thought of asking every step or every time seems tedious, poses a more encompassing question: \u201cHere&#8217;s my plan for the evening:\u2026 what do you think?\u201d &#8220;What would you say if every time &#8230; we do &#8230;?&#8221; &#8220;Can we do this again anywhere else, or do we save this just for here?&#8221;<\/li><\/ul><p><\/p>\n\n<h4 class=\"citation-oui-gr\">&#8220;A YES is only a YES for the question asked, nothing more!&#8221;<\/h4><\/div><\/label><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<hr class=\"hr-gr\">\n\n<h2 class=\"dark-gr\">Conclusion<\/h2>\n<p class=\"dark-gr\">Yes, I know, not everyone is able or wants to give themselves the &#8220;trouble&#8221; to check all these criteria before proposing or agreeing to do something (although with practice, it becomes easier and easier, I promise!). But, at a minimum, we should be aware of the criteria that are or aren&#8217;t met.<\/p>\n\n<p class=\"dark-gr\">When you realize that one of the criteria is not met, whether you mention it or not, whether you stop the interaction or not, at least you can understand where the error is. You can better understand why &#8220;all of a sudden&#8221; the atmosphere becomes uneasy or why afterward you regret having done it. Besides, next time, it will help you do better, react faster, or communicate better, and the interaction will then be much more pleasant for everyone. The best way not to redo your mistakes is to understand them!<\/p>\n\n<h3 class=\"dark-gr\">Cuddle Therapy, to help you<\/h3>\n<p class=\"dark-gr\">Now, if you want to learn more about consent, talk about your non-consented experiences or practice to better respect your consent and that of others, book an appointment for a <a href=\"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/cuddletherapy-services\/\" title=\"Book a Cuddle Therapy Session\">Cuddle Therapy Session<\/a> with me. Thanks to <a href=\"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/cuddletherapy-calia\/\" title=\"Calia's Cuddle Therapy\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Cuddle Therapy<\/a>, platonic physical contact can be used to learn consent, even if no physical contact is required.<\/p>\n<div style=\"display: inline-block;\">\n<h3 class=\"dark-gr\">Consent Shop<\/h3>\n<!--<a href=\"https:\/\/caliact.com\/consent-shop\/\" title=\"Consent Shop\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Tshirtunisex_Keep.jpg\" alt=\"T-Shirt KEEP CALM AND ASK BEFORE TOUCHING\" width=\"38.2%\" height=\"auto\" class=\"alignright\" style=\"width:38.2%; max-width:300px; min-width:200px; margin: -15px -25px -20px -30px;\"><\/a><p class=\"dark-gr\">If you want to help Calia raise awareness and spread the word about consent, visit Calia's <a href=\"https:\/\/caliact.com\/consent-shop\/\" title=\"Consent Shop\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Consent Shop<\/a> and buy your \"KEEP CALM AND ASK BEFORE TOUCHING\" T-Shirt (several models available).<\/p>-->\n<p class=\"dark-pp\"><a href=\"https:\/\/caliact.com\/consent-shop\/\" title=\"Consent Shop\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/Consent-Shop_300dpi.png?w=980&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Consent Shop\"   class=\"alignright\" style=\"width:61.8%; max-width:300px; min-width:200px; margin-top: 6px;\"><\/a>If you want to help Calia Consent raise awareness and spread the word about consent, visit Calia&#8217;s <a href=\"https:\/\/caliact.com\/consent-shop\/\" title=\"Consent Shop\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Consent Shop<\/a> and buy your &#8220;KEEP CALM AND ASK BEFORE TOUCHING&#8221; T-Shirt (several models available) or FIRES cards to distribute around you, or yet FIRES posters to display!<br><strong>Together, let&#8217;s make the world a better place with the right FIRES!<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n<div style=\"display:none; margin:5em calc(15vw - 2em);\">\n<h2 class=\"dark-gr\">Merci \u00e0 Marta Silva \u2764<\/h2>\n<p class=\"dark-gr\">Les concepts et le texte sont de moi (<a href=\"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/virtual-sessions\/#alie\" title=\"Profil d'Alie Val\u00e9rie\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Alie Val\u00e9rie<\/a>), mais sans l&#8217;aide inestimable de Marta Silva, vous ne l&#8217;auriez probablement jamais trouv\u00e9 sur internet (Search Engine Optimization) et vous ne l&#8217;auriez s\u00fbrement pas lu au complet (copywriting)!&nbsp;\ud83d\ude44 Marta prend le temps de comprendre, pas juste les concepts que tu veux expliquer, mais aussi toutes les \u00e9motions que tu veux transmettre. En plus, elle est capable de s&#8217;adapter \u00e0 ton style et \u00e0 ta personnalit\u00e9; alors t&#8217;as encore l&#8217;impression que c&#8217;est toi qui l&#8217;a \u00e9crit, sauf que l\u00e0 les gens ont le go\u00fbt de le lire (editing)!&nbsp;\ud83d\ude1c<br>\nAlors, s\u00e9rieux, si vous avez une histoire \u00e0 partager, confiez-la \u00e0 Marta Silva!\n(Promis, ce remerciement, c&#8217;est moi toute seule qui l&#8217;a \u00e9crit!&nbsp;\ud83d\ude01)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<script>\nvar windowTop = screen.height - window.innerHeight;\n\/\/document.querySelectorAll('.grid-item').forEach((gridItem) => {gridItem.style.setProperty('--top', windowTop + \"px\");})\ndocument.querySelector(':root').style.setProperty('--myTop', windowTop + \"px\");\n<\/script>\n<style>\nhtml, body, .site {\n    overflow-x: visible;}\n:root{\n  --myTop: 5px;}\n.grid-container {\n  display: grid;\n  grid-template-columns: auto;\n  grid-template-rows: repeat(6, auto);}\n.grid-item {\n  text-align: center;\n  position: sticky;\n  top: var(--myTop);}\n@media (max-height: 900px){\n  .grid-item{\n    position: unset;}\n  html, body, .site {\n    overflow-x: hidden;}}\n.hentry .wp-post-image{display:none;}\n.entry-header h1{display:none;}\n.hentry {\n    margin: 0;}\n.site-main {\n    margin-bottom: 0;}\n.atterrissage-header-divOne{\n    width: 38.2%;\n    min-width: 200px;\n    background-image: url(https:\/\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/Calia-Consent-Header_wb.png);\n    background-attachment: fixed;\n    background-position: 70px 30px;\n    background-repeat: no-repeat;\n    background-size: 35vw;\n    min-height: 260px;\n    margin-bottom: 0;}\n.atterrissage-header-divTwo{\n  margin-bottom: 0;}\n@media (max-width: 767px){\n  .atterrissage .atterrissage-header{\n    display:block;}\n  .atterrissage-header-divOne{\n    min-width: calc(103.1px + 38.76vw);\n    background-position: 3vw 10px;\n    background-size: calc(103.1px + 38.76vw);\n    min-height: calc(81.24px + 15.5vw);}}\n.fcc{\n  display: flex;\n  justify-content: center;\n  align-items: center;}\n.frwsas{\n  display:flex; \n  flex-direction:row;\n  flex-wrap:wrap; \n  justify-content: space-around;\n  align-items: stretch;}\n.hr-gr{\n  border-top: 2px solid rgba(15,74,0,0.5)!important;}\n.rowc50-reels-comment-gr{\n  width: 50%;\n  flex: 1 0 300px;\n  padding:0 5% 0 5%;\n  margin-bottom: 5%;\n  border-right: 2px solid #0f4a00;\n  border-left: 2px solid #0f4a00;}\n.divnop p:not(.goodp){display:none;}\n.acronym-carte-title-gr{\n  color: #177100!important;\n  font-family: 'Quicksand';\n  font-size: calc(16.19px + 5.52vw);\n  font-weight: 900;\n  line-height: 1;\n  margin: 1.5em 0 0;\n  text-shadow: -0.5px -0.5px 0 #177100, 0 -0.5px 0 #177100, 0.5px -0.5px 0 #177100, 0.5px  0   0 #177100, 0.5px  0.5px 0 #177100, 0    0.5px 0 #177100, -0.5px  0.5px 0 #177100, -0.5px  0   0 #177100;\n  text-align:center;\n  letter-spacing: -1px;}\n.acronym-carte-slogan-gr{\n  color: #0f4a00;\n  font-family: 'Quicksand';\n  font-size: calc(1.125rem + .5vw);\n  font-weight: bolder;\n  line-height: 1.618;\n  text-align:center;\n  margin: 0;}\n.acronym-total{\n  margin-right: calc(19.1% - 2em);\n  margin-left: calc(19.1% - 2em);}\n.acronym-panel-gr{\n  height: auto;\n  width: 100%;\n  text-align:left;\n  padding: 3% 3% 8%;\n  margin: 0;\n  border-top-right-radius: 5px;\n  background-image:linear-gradient(to bottom, #177100 2px, #fff 10px);\n  display: none;\n  cursor: default;}\n.acronym-panel-gr h3, .acronym-panel-gr p{\n  color:#0f4a00;}\n.acronym label > input{\n  display:none;}\n.acronym label{\n  cursor:pointer;}\n.acronym label > input:checked ~ div.acronym-panel-gr{\n  display: block;}\nh2.critere-gr{\n  font-size: calc(1.25rem + 5.5vw); color:#1E9600; font-weight: bolder; text-align: left; font-family: 'Caveat', cursive; margin: .5em 0 0;}\n.critere-lettre-gr{\n  color:#0f4a00; \n  text-shadow: -0.5px -0.5px 0 #0f4a00, 0 -0.5px 0 #0f4a00, 0.5px -0.5px 0 #0f4a00, 0.5px  0   0 #0f4a00, 0.5px  0.5px 0 #0f4a00, 0    0.5px 0 #0f4a00, -0.5px  0.5px 0 #0f4a00, -0.5px  0   0 #0f4a00;}\n.critere-i{\n  display: inline-block;\n  font-size: calc(1.5rem + .8vw);\n  color: inherit;\n  margin-right: -10px;\n  animation-name: turningDown;\n  animation-duration: 2s;\n  animation-iteration-count: infinite;\n  animation-play-state: running;}\n@media (max-width:780px){\n  .critere{\n    font-size: 45px;}}\n@keyframes turningDown{\n  0% {  \n    transform:rotate(0deg);  \n    opacity: .6;}\n  75% {\n    transform:rotate(90deg);\n    opacity: 1;}\n  100% {  \n    transform:rotate(0deg);  \n    opacity: .6;}}\n.critere-i:hover{\n  animation-play-state: paused;}\n.acronym label > input:checked ~ h2 > i{\n  animation-name: none;\n  transform:rotate(90deg);}\n.acronym-carte{\n  color:#6d6d6d;\n  font-weight:bolder;\n  font-size: calc(1rem + .5vw);\n  line-height: 1.3;\n  text-align: left;}\n.acronym-panel-h3-first{\n  margin: .382em 0 .618em;}\n.acronym-panel-h3{\n  margin: 1.618em 0 .618em;}\n.citation-oui-gr{\n  font-size: 20px;\n  font-weight: 600;\n  color: #1E9600!important;\n  font-family: 'Quicksand';\n  text-align: center;\n  font-style: italic;}\n.list18-inside{\n  list-style-type: none;\n  margin-left:1.5em;}\n.list18-inside li:before{\n  content: '-';\n  margin-right: .382em;\n  margin-left: -.8em;}\nul.list18-inside li{\n  margin-bottom:.5em;}\n.tdm-section{\n  text-align: center;\n  margin-left: auto;\n  margin-right: auto;\n  width: fit-content;}\n.tdm{\n  text-align: left;\n  font-size: 16px;\n  line-height: 1.3em;\n  margin-bottom: .8em;}\n.tdm-titre{\n  text-align: left;\n  font-size: 18px;\n  line-height: 1.3em;\n  margin-bottom: .8em;}\n.tdm-lien{\n  text-decoration:underline;}\n.tdm-lien a{\n  color: #1e9600!important;}\n.btfires{\n  color: #fff;\n  background: #1E9600;\n  text-align: center;\n  line-height: 1.2;\n  border-radius: 2em;\n  box-shadow: 0 0 0 7px #1E9600;\n  padding: 7px 12px 4px;}\n.btfires:hover{\n  color:#1E9600;\n  background:#fff;\n  box-shadow: none;\n  border-color:#1E9600;}\n.btfires:active{\n  color:#fff;\n  background:#0f4a00;\n  box-shadow: 0 0 0 7px #0f4a00;\n  border-color:#fff;}\n.downarrow{\n  animation-name: goingdown;\n  animation-duration: 2s;\n  animation-iteration-count: infinite;}\n@keyframes goingdown {\n  0% {  \n    transform:translate(0px, -5px) rotate(90deg);  \n    color: rgba(250, 250, 250, 0.6);}\n  75% {\n    transform:translate(0px, 5px) rotate(90deg);\n    color: #fff;}\n  100% {  \n    transform:translate(0px, -5px) rotate(90deg);  \n    color: rgba(250, 250, 250, 0.6);}}\n.btfires:hover > span.downarrow{\n  animation-play-state: paused;}\n.btfires:active > span.downarrow{\n  animation-play-state: paused;}\n.atterrissage .pieddpage{display:block;}\n.dark-gr{\n  color:#0f4a00;}\nul.dark-gr > li{\n  color:#0f4a00;}\nnav{\n  display:none!important;}\n.anti-colfull{\n  margin-left: -3vw;}\n@media (max-width: 767px){\n  .widget_icl_lang_sel_widget{\n    padding: 13px 0;\n    top: 0;\n    position: absolute;\n    right: 17px;}}\n<\/style>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>CONSENT &#8230;making sure you light the right FIRES! Otherwise, it isn&#8217;t fun for anyone! Sections Consent, what&#8217;s that? Definition of consent and the situations in which you need it Why talking about the right FIRES? The issue with previous campaigns The acronym FIRES, what is it? The origin of the acronym FIRES Consent, lighting the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":290969,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"template-fullwidth.php","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-294303","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Consent, the right FIRES &#183; Calia<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"CONSENT, it&#039;s making sure you&#039;re lighting the right FIRES! Otherwise, it isn&#039;t fun for anyone. FIRES = the 5 criteria of valid consent.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/fires\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Consent, the right FIRES &#183; Calia\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"CONSENT, it&#039;s making sure you&#039;re lighting the right FIRES! Otherwise, it isn&#039;t fun for anyone. FIRES = the 5 criteria of valid consent.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/fires\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Calia\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/caliaCT\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-01-11T05:18:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/FIRESnew_pseudopreview.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"630\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"21 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/caliact.com\\\/en\\\/fires\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/caliact.com\\\/en\\\/fires\\\/\",\"name\":\"Consent, the right FIRES &#183; Calia\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/caliact.com\\\/en\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/caliact.com\\\/en\\\/fires\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/caliact.com\\\/en\\\/fires\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/i0.wp.com\\\/caliact.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2021\\\/07\\\/FIRESnew_pseudopreview.png?fit=1200%2C630&ssl=1\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-03-31T20:37:26+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-01-11T05:18:29+00:00\",\"description\":\"CONSENT, it's making sure you're lighting the right FIRES! Otherwise, it isn't fun for anyone. FIRES = the 5 criteria of valid consent.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/caliact.com\\\/en\\\/fires\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-CA\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/caliact.com\\\/en\\\/fires\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-CA\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/caliact.com\\\/en\\\/fires\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/i0.wp.com\\\/caliact.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2021\\\/07\\\/FIRESnew_pseudopreview.png?fit=1200%2C630&ssl=1\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/i0.wp.com\\\/caliact.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2021\\\/07\\\/FIRESnew_pseudopreview.png?fit=1200%2C630&ssl=1\",\"width\":1200,\"height\":630,\"caption\":\"Consent ...make sure you light the right FIRES otherwise, forget it!\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/caliact.com\\\/en\\\/fires\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Accueil\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/caliact.com\\\/en\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Consent, the right FIRES\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/caliact.com\\\/en\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/caliact.com\\\/en\\\/\",\"name\":\"Calia\",\"description\":\"C\u00e2linoth\u00e9rapie\\\/Cuddle therapy\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/caliact.com\\\/en\\\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/caliact.com\\\/en\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-CA\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/caliact.com\\\/en\\\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Calia C\u00e2linoth\u00e9rapie\\\/Cuddle therapy\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/caliact.com\\\/en\\\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-CA\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/caliact.com\\\/en\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/i2.wp.com\\\/caliact.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2019\\\/06\\\/Calia-Logo-FinalFC.jpg?fit=1100%2C1100&ssl=1\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/i2.wp.com\\\/caliact.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2019\\\/06\\\/Calia-Logo-FinalFC.jpg?fit=1100%2C1100&ssl=1\",\"width\":1100,\"height\":1100,\"caption\":\"Calia C\u00e2linoth\u00e9rapie\\\/Cuddle therapy\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/caliact.com\\\/en\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/www.facebook.com\\\/caliaCT\"]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Consent, the right FIRES &#183; Calia","description":"CONSENT, it's making sure you're lighting the right FIRES! Otherwise, it isn't fun for anyone. FIRES = the 5 criteria of valid consent.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/fires\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Consent, the right FIRES &#183; Calia","og_description":"CONSENT, it's making sure you're lighting the right FIRES! Otherwise, it isn't fun for anyone. FIRES = the 5 criteria of valid consent.","og_url":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/fires\/","og_site_name":"Calia","article_publisher":"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/caliaCT","article_modified_time":"2026-01-11T05:18:29+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1200,"height":630,"url":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/FIRESnew_pseudopreview.png","type":"image\/png"}],"twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Est. reading time":"21 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/fires\/","url":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/fires\/","name":"Consent, the right FIRES &#183; Calia","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/fires\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/fires\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/FIRESnew_pseudopreview.png?fit=1200%2C630&ssl=1","datePublished":"2023-03-31T20:37:26+00:00","dateModified":"2026-01-11T05:18:29+00:00","description":"CONSENT, it's making sure you're lighting the right FIRES! Otherwise, it isn't fun for anyone. FIRES = the 5 criteria of valid consent.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/fires\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-CA","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/fires\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-CA","@id":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/fires\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/FIRESnew_pseudopreview.png?fit=1200%2C630&ssl=1","contentUrl":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/FIRESnew_pseudopreview.png?fit=1200%2C630&ssl=1","width":1200,"height":630,"caption":"Consent ...make sure you light the right FIRES otherwise, forget it!"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/fires\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Accueil","item":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Consent, the right FIRES"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/#website","url":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/","name":"Calia","description":"C\u00e2linoth\u00e9rapie\/Cuddle therapy","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-CA"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/#organization","name":"Calia C\u00e2linoth\u00e9rapie\/Cuddle therapy","url":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-CA","@id":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/Calia-Logo-FinalFC.jpg?fit=1100%2C1100&ssl=1","contentUrl":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/Calia-Logo-FinalFC.jpg?fit=1100%2C1100&ssl=1","width":1100,"height":1100,"caption":"Calia C\u00e2linoth\u00e9rapie\/Cuddle therapy"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/caliaCT"]}]}},"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/Pa0UAQ-1eyP","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":290420,"url":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/consent-yes-fires\/","url_meta":{"origin":294303,"position":0},"title":"Consent, the right FIRES","author":"Val\u00e9rie (Alie) H\u00e9bert-Gentile","date":"19 December 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"CONSENT ...making sure you light the right FIRES! Otherwise, it isn't fun for anyone! Sections Consent, what's that? Definition of consent and the situations in which you need it Why talking about the right FIRES? The issue with previous campaigns The acronym FIRES, what is it? The origin of the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"Consent ...make sure you light the right FIRES otherwise, forget it!","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/FIRESnew_pseudopreview.png?fit=1200%2C630&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/FIRESnew_pseudopreview.png?fit=1200%2C630&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/FIRESnew_pseudopreview.png?fit=1200%2C630&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/FIRESnew_pseudopreview.png?fit=1200%2C630&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/FIRESnew_pseudopreview.png?fit=1200%2C630&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":293456,"url":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/calia-consent\/","url_meta":{"origin":294303,"position":1},"title":"Calia Consent","author":"Val\u00e9rie (Alie) H\u00e9bert-Gentile","date":"3 August 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Consent,the right FIRES! Find out what really are consent and the right FIRES Host a workshop or a conference about consent and the right FIRES Consent:Practicing Consent is basically making sure that everyone involved is, at all times, perfectly comfortable with what is happening. It's making sure you light the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/Calia-Consentement-logo_wb.png?fit=1100%2C1100&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/Calia-Consentement-logo_wb.png?fit=1100%2C1100&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/Calia-Consentement-logo_wb.png?fit=1100%2C1100&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/Calia-Consentement-logo_wb.png?fit=1100%2C1100&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/Calia-Consentement-logo_wb.png?fit=1100%2C1100&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":293133,"url":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/calia-consent\/calia-ct-consent\/","url_meta":{"origin":294303,"position":2},"title":"Calia CT","author":"Val\u00e9rie (Alie) H\u00e9bert-Gentile","date":"18 July 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Find out who's Alie, where Calia Consent comes from and its mission. The Vision The Mission - Cuddle Therapy The Mission - Consent The Social Causes The Inclusiveness The Professional The Sanitary Measures Calia's Vision Calia simply wants to make the world a better and happier place by joining the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/Calia-Consentement-logo_wb.png?fit=1100%2C1100&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/Calia-Consentement-logo_wb.png?fit=1100%2C1100&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/Calia-Consentement-logo_wb.png?fit=1100%2C1100&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/Calia-Consentement-logo_wb.png?fit=1100%2C1100&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/Calia-Consentement-logo_wb.png?fit=1100%2C1100&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":295337,"url":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/consent-shop\/","url_meta":{"origin":294303,"position":3},"title":"Consent shop","author":"Val\u00e9rie (Alie) H\u00e9bert-Gentile","date":"3 May 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Une fa\u00e7on cool d'aider \u00e0 informer et conscientiser les gens face au consentement.A cool way to help raise awareness and spread the word about consent. Collections KEEP CALMT-Shirts & cie R\u00c9ELS\/FIRES Posters R\u00c9ELS\/FIRES Cards La collectionKEEP CALM AND ASK BEFORE TOUCHINGcollection Tous les profits vont \u00e0 Calia Consentement!All profits go\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/CollectionKeepCalm.png?fit=1141%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/CollectionKeepCalm.png?fit=1141%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/CollectionKeepCalm.png?fit=1141%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/CollectionKeepCalm.png?fit=1141%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/CollectionKeepCalm.png?fit=1141%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":291086,"url":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/calia-cuddletherapy\/","url_meta":{"origin":294303,"position":4},"title":"Rewelcome at Calia!","author":"Val\u00e9rie (Alie) H\u00e9bert-Gentile","date":"4 November 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Respect yourself Learn self-careone consenting cuddle at\u00a0a\u00a0time See services You already have an account? Log in here Cuddle therapy is not a licensed medical practice and should not replace the consultation of a health professional, either physical or psychological. ? Cuddle therapy does not include, under any circumstances, any form\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"Calia Cuddle Therapy","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/caliact.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/Calia-Logo-FinalFC_cut.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2377,"url":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/code-conduct\/guide-consent\/","url_meta":{"origin":294303,"position":5},"title":"Guide to Consent","author":"Val\u00e9rie (Alie) H\u00e9bert-Gentile","date":"24 September 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Calia's Guide to Consent aims to assist you in your exploration of human contact. It gives protocols to follow and easy escape routes on this journey towards discovery and knowledge of oneself and better communication. By practicing consent and appreciating the resulting honesty and transparency, we can greatly improve our\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/294303","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=294303"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/294303\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":296948,"href":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/294303\/revisions\/296948"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/290969"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/caliact.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=294303"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}