Needs with which cuddle therapy can help

Your cuddle therapy session can have different shapes, according to your needs and boundaries.

These are the main needs for which people go into cuddle therapy:

• I want to relax and forget my problems and the stress from my day-to-day life.
• I want, for a moment, to be the one being taken care of instead of me taking care of everyone all the time.
• I want to explore different kinds of touch and cuddles and find out my preferences.
• I want to work on my personal growth and learn to affirm myself more, to better communicate and to be more at ease with other people.
• I want to feel close to someone else, connected to an other human being.
• I want a space where I can talk about all my problems and worries and be listened to, without any judgment.
• I want a safe and non-judgmental space where I can talk about difficult subjects and live my deep and intense emotions.
• I want to learn to appreciate physical contacts despite my autism spectrum or antisocial personality disorders.
• I want to relearn how to appreciate physical contacts despite my post-traumatic stress disorders.
• I want to relearn how to respect my own boundaries towards physical contacts despite my post-traumatic stress disorders.
Now about you, what do you need?

Conduct of a session

1 Make an appointment
Each professional cuddler establishes their own booking process. Therefore, you may be required to schedule via telephone, written communication, or directly through their webpage. Simply ensure you carefully read the guidelines provided on their webpage.
This initial meeting may or may not include the first session.

2 The initial meeting
In general, the initial meeting is strictly verbal. It may take place by telephone, video conference, or in person in a neutral public location. The primary purpose of this meeting is to establish each person’s boundaries and needs to ensure that the first session will be comfortable. It is an opportunity to ask questions, clarify details, and share any concerns regarding the sessions.
If you determine that you are compatible, the first session may take place immediately following this meeting (this option should have been mentioned during the booking process) or at another time and location to be mutually agreed upon. If either person (regardless of who) does not feel comfortable in the other’s presence, there won’t be any session.

Due to the physical proximity generated by the service, the professional cuddler reserves the right to choose their clients.
However, this choice will not be in any case or circumstance based on grounds considered discriminatory according to the laws and regulations applicable in Quebec (such as gender, sexual orientation, religion, race, disability …).

3 Preparing for your session
Before the session, please make sure you have showered and brushed your teeth (because clean cuddles are just so much nicer! 😊).
Also, remember to wear full-coverage clothing (at least socks, long pants, and a t-shirt; no shorts or tank tops) that is clean and, above all, comfortable (yes, pajamas are fine as long as they cover your body well). Wearing full-coverage clothing helps maintain the platonic nature of the session.

4 Your arrival
There are two main types of greetings (this option can be discussed during the initial meeting):

• The greeting can be limited to a simple smile; all physical contact being strictly limited to the session itself.
• The greeting can include a typical “hello” hug; for some people, this social norm is reassuring and helps to “break the ice.”

Then, if necessary, the space is adjusted for everyone’s comfort (temperature, lighting, cleanliness, music, furniture layout, cushions, blankets, etc.) and the security camera is set up to ensure the safety of everyone (both the client and the professional cuddler).

Before starting the session itself, your professional cuddler will review the boundaries and explain the principles and skills of consent (see the Guide to Consent). The benefits of Cuddle therapy come first and foremost from the effect that consent has on the quality of cuddling. It is, therefore, necessary for both people to be consenting throughout the session.
If applicable, the Service Contract will be signed by both people.
Finally, there is the oath of consent (in other words, both people commit to respecting their own consent as well as the other person’s).
Once everything has been discussed and accepted, the session can begin and the timer is started. Depending on your professional cuddler’s preferences (specified during the initial meeting), this first part may or may not be included in the time you have paid for.

5 Your cuddle therapy session
The course of the session is adapted to everyone (see the different needs that cuddle therapy can meet). Professional cuddlers are primarily there to make you feel safe and guide you through the world of touch and consent. You will be encouraged to take care of yourself, take responsibility for your comfort, and ask for what you need. However, professional cuddlers are committed to accepting only what they are genuinely enthusiastic about. In other words, you can rest assured that if they say yes to one of your requests, it is because they really are happy to do so. In cuddle therapy, there shouldn’t be any “faking”.
(Of course, if joint consent can not be obtained, or if one of the parties does not respect the consent or the boundaries of the other, the session will be stopped (see the Service Contract).)

When the time is up, we take a nice 5 to 10 minutes to gradually peel away from each other, come back to earth, and do a debriefing of the session.

6 After the session
After the session, your oxytocin level may be very high, especially if it has been a while since you last had so many cuddles. A high of oxytocin is very pleasant and can make you feel good and like you are on a cloud. However, an oxytocin high can also carry some risks:

• The feeling of bliss can cause you to forget to eat and drink and even make it risky to drive a vehicle.
• Oxytocin, also being the attachment hormone, can also make you feel like you are falling in love with another. You must then remember that it is not really the person who has this effect on you, but the oxytocin (click here for more details).
• Finally, there is above all the risk of an oxytocin drop (because what goes up must often come down…). The longer it has been since you last cuddled, the higher the oxytocin high could be, but the harder the oxytocin drop could be too.
  Depending on the person, the oxytocin drop can occur within 1 to 3 days, or even 1 to 2 weeks, following an oxytocin high. The oxytocin drop is characterized by a feeling of isolation, depression, lack of affection, lack of energy, etc. It is therefore important to be well prepared.
  First of all, if you ever experience an oxytocin drop, keep in mind that this is completely temporary and usually only lasts a few hours to a few days.
  It’s also wise to remember the basics: eat well, stay hydrated, and get enough rest.
  Beyond that, here are a few ways and suggestions Calia offers to help ease the effects of low oxytocin:
  • A 5 steps DIY for a self-cuddling session at home.
  • A list of different ways to increase your happiness hormones which can compensate for the lack of oxytocin and hugs.
  • The virtual sessions with Alie offer you a safe virtual space where we could discuss your personal oxytocin management strategies; make sure that you are taking good care of yourself; determine the best approach for your upcoming sessions, as well as answer any other questions related to professional cuddling, touch, and consent.

For more information, see the page on Oxytocin.

Cuddle therapy does not include, under any circumstances, any form of explicit or implicit sexuality. ?

Cuddle therapy is not a licensed medical practice and should not replace the consultation of a health professional, either physical or psychological. ?

No physical contact is obligated.