F.A.Q

Simple, start with these 2 small steps:

1. Read everything you can find on the Calia Cuddle Therapy website: what Cuddle Therapy is, what Calia’s Code of Conduct and Guide to Consent are, what in-person Cuddle Therapy Sessions are, etc.
2. Consult the next question to better understand the difference between professional cuddling and cuddle therapy services; just to give you better idea.
3. Then, if you’re still interested, make an appointment for a video-call with Alie! Calia does not hire nor offer training, but Alie will be happy to help you start your own professional cuddling service. She will give you an hour of her time, free of charge, and share her experience, tips and tricks, the pitfalls and risks of the job as well as advise you on the available trainings. It’s 1 hour and it’s free! All you have to do is book an appointment here:

The following distinction is mainly true in Quebec while it may be less clear elsewhere, such as in the United States where the term professional cuddling can also be applied to what I call cuddle therapy.

Confusion can also arise in the title of the person offering the service. In Quebec, it is illegal to call oneself a cuddle therapist since the term therapist is reserved. So it doesn’t matter whether the person offers a professional cuddling or cuddle therapy service, their title remains professional cuddler.

Similarities:
First and foremost, both services are strictly platonic! Then, both services must also be based on mutual consent and respect for the boundaries of everyone involved (including the person offering the service!).

Differences:
Where the difference lies is that cuddle therapy also aims to teach consent and its communication, we therefore place much more emphasis on the skills of consent (see the Guide to Consent), such as, for example, we ask BEFORE touching rather than touching then check if it is correct. In cuddle therapy, there is therefore much more verbal communication and inner reflection to be made.

Choice as a customer:
So if you don’t want to think or talk too much and ask everytime you want to move; or you just want to relax in someone else’s arms; or you are already comfortable hugging anyone; or are more of a “go with the flow”, “follow your instincts” and “feel the energies” type of person; then go for professional cuddling services, it will be simpler and seem more natural to you.

If, on the contrary, you have difficulty or discomfort with physical contact, with the idea of touching or being touched by others; or if you want to be able to implement consent skills in other areas of your life; come to cuddle therapy, it will be easier and more profitable in the long term.

Choice as a professional:
If you just feel like hugging everyone and making the world a happier place while getting your own dose of oxytocin; if you have a warm soul and comforting energy; and if you are able to establish and respect your own boundaries and consent; then go ahead and offer professional cuddling services (see first question). The world needs you!

If you feel able to welcome with empathy, but without sympathy, all kinds of people, emotions and stories of abuse and violence (because part of your clientele could be victims of abuse and violence who seek to reconcile with consensual touching); if you are able to stay attentive to the emotions and feelings of the other in order to be able to help them through the skills of consent (see the Guide to Consent); if you are able to listen to the problems of others without trying to advise them (unless you have a degree in psychology or medicine; you should not advise your clients about their psychological or medical problems); then go ahead and offer cuddle therapy services (see first question).

At Calia, the terms “cuddling/cuddles/hugs” can represent any platonic and consensual physical contact.

Platonic:
This means without any sexual or sensual energy/intention. So instead of thinking of a loving couple caressing sensually, imagine rather a parent holding their child in their arms to comfort them.

Consensual:
This means ensuring that all parties involved are always perfectly aware of and comfortable with what is happening.

Physical contact:
Indeed, the expression “physical contact” is very vague, and that’s because the possibilities are indeed almost endless! As long as the contact is platonic and consensual (and physically realistic considering the flexibility of the individuals involved), it’s allowed! Just ask for it precisely and wait to see if the other person is just as enthusiastic.

• Location: whether it’s on the floor, on the carpet, on the bed, on the couch, with a pillow, a blanket…
• Each person’s position: whether they’re standing, sitting, lying on their back, stomach, side…
• Body part: whether it’s hands, feet, arms, shoulders, back, face, hair…
  (Obviously, typical and atypical erogenous zones are avoided.)
• Movement: whether it’s staying still or stroking, scratching, tapping, pressing, massaging, tickling…
  (Obviously, any suggestive movements (reminiscent of sexual activity) are avoided.)
• Intensity: whether it’s slow or fast, gentle or firm, moderate…
• Duration*: whether it’s for 5 seconds, 5 minutes, 1 hour…
  *In fact, the hug can last until one of the parties involved no longer feels comfortable or changes their mind and decides to stop or modify the cuddle in question.

First, let’s make a distinction between “having an erection” and “being aroused”.

Having an erection during intimate physical contact is quite likely, even natural; the body reacts to proximity. On the other hand, having an erection is not necessarily linked to sexual arousal (you can have one without the other, just like the other without the one!).

Platonic erection (without sexual/sensual energy) is not condemned at Calia; it’s just not encouraged. In other words, if you get an erection during a session while managing to stay calm and platonic, we’re just going to pretend nothing is happening. Usually, I suggest to simply put a cushion, from the beginning, between the two people, at the level of the pelvis, in order to hide any possible erection. That way, it’s even easier to pretend that nothing’s happening.

Sexual/sensual energy, with or without an erection, is not accepted at Calia and may be subject to expulsion if intentional or uncontrolled. In other words, if you start to get excited during a session, the first thing we will do is try to bring you back to a platonic state. For example, putting space between us or changing position, taking a break, choosing an anti-excitement/”cold shower” conversation topic, etc. If that doesn’t work, but you would like to make it work and learn to stay platonic despite previous conditioning; we can work on that. On the other hand, if it does not work because in fact you do not want to return to a platonic state, well we will simply end the session and conclude that Calia does not offer the services you need.

Cuddle therapy is a platonic service, meaning there should be no sexual or sensual connotations. So, to avoid any ambiguity, everyone should wear appropriate attire. In other words, the body must be covered from the waist to the ankles (long pants) and from the waist to the base of the neck and from the shoulders to at least the forearms (t-shirt or long-sleeved shirt) AND remain fully clothed throughout the whole time! So no shorts or tank top. Nothing transparent either! If your pajamas respect the rules (long pants and t-shirt minimum), then yes, you can wear your pajamas without any problem. Whether you wear underwear underneath or not is up to you, but we just won’t talk about it.

I, personnally, wear a long-sleeved shirt and greyd nurse’s scrubs that is one size too big (much more comfortable for cuddling!).

First of all, know that I don’t cuddle to make money, but I still have to make money to be able to cuddle. Calia’s Space represents additional rent, insurance and licenses to pay, furniture and accessories that I had to buy, maintenance and additional stress (trying to prevent my plants from dying, among other things!). And I also have to eat if I want to have enough energy to hug you tight.

In terms of time, I spend at least two hours per session, outside the sessions, for the preparation before (cleaning, installation, paperwork, etc) and the conclusion after (washing, uninstallation, report, paperwork, etc). Also, although you pay for an hour, I usually spend an extra hour with you because before the session I take the time to listen to you and explain all the rules, limits and consent tips, which helps also to put you more at ease and ensure a better session for us; then, after the session, I give you time to take stock, collect your thoughts and come back to earth before letting you go.

During the session, I don’t just lie down and relax with you. Cuddle therapy is more than just cuddling; it’s a safe space where you can be yourself and honestly explore platonic physical contact, consent, and personal boundaries. As a professional, in order to allow you this space, I must therefore remain open, non-judgmental and respectful of anything you want to share with me. I also need to stay awake and empathically attentive; if you ever start to feel uneasy but you are not able to tell me, I must be able to realize it immediately to help you talk about it. In short, it takes a lot of psychological energy on my part. Then, if you need me to hug you very tightly, well that takes physical energy too! 😜

Finally, let’s agree that hugs are an essential need for both physical and psychological health of humans. Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t have anyone to cuddle with in their day-to-day lives. When we can’t cook for ourselves, we can go to a restaurant and pay someone else to cook for us; when we can’t do our housework, we can pay someone else to clean for us; when we have no one to have sex with, we can even pay someone to have sex with us. Why couldn’t we pay someone to cuddle with us when we don’t have anyone to hug us?

Yes, I am often asked this question, unfortunately, you would have to be a bit more specific.

Are you talking about Cuddle Therapy in general, as a therapy/practice? If so, check out the page on Calia’s Cuddle Therapy, then take a look at the Guide to Consent which is actually the main tool used in cuddle therapy.

Are you talking about Calia Cuddle Therapy, the company as such? If so, go to the Calia CT page, then take a look at the Code of Conduct which will give you an idea of the values and rules of conduct at Calia.

Are you talking about one-on-one, in-person cuddle therapy sessions? If so, check out the Cuddle Therapy Sessions page, then check out the Calia’s Code of Conduct and Guide to Consent.
But, basically, to have a session in person, you must first book an appointment on the website (on the Cuddle Therapy Sessions page). No need to contact me; my availabilities are those presented on the website during the booking process. You should also be aware of the sanitary measures in progress. Then, during your session, know that there will be no physical contact until we have gone through the rules, limits, tips, etc. The session as such (the time for which you will have paid) will not begin until after the chatting part and even during the session as such, no physical contact is obligatory. In fact, any physical contact must have been previously discussed and consented to (this is the very basis of cuddle therapy! You will see, this is what makes the sessions magical!).

Are you talking about virtual sessions? If so, check out the Virtual Sessions page.

Are you talking about consent in general? If so, go to the site of Calia Consent, more precisely, the page on Consent, the right FIRES.

If you are talking about Cuddle group Workshops, they no longer exist (see next question).

First, the organization of the Cuddle Workshops required a lot of time, work and stress that I unfortunately no longer have at my disposal.

Secondly, and this is my official excuse, the presence of COVID-19 in the population, combined with my work as an orderly in a CHSLD, makes the Cuddle Workshops far too risky (and, frankly, beyond which that my germophobic side can endure).

To conclude, as a Cuddle Therapy professional, my first responsibility is to be able to respect my own consent and my own boundaries. And that’s what I’m doing by deciding to stop the Cuddle Workshops.

Thank you for your understanding.

Who knows, one day maybe, COVID-19 will be better controlled and I will no longer work in CHSLD and then I may have the time and energy to restart the Cuddle Workshops.